Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Steph's (in)famous Turkey Recipe

You will need 1 smallish frozen turkey

Day One:
1. Place turkey in refrigerator to thaw

Day Two:
2. Place turkey in cold water to thaw
3. Place turkey in warm water to speed up thawing
4. Cuss turkey while returning it to refrigerator to thaw

Day Three:
5. Run cold water over turkey to remove remaining ice
6. Chip ice away from cavity opening and pry out turkey innards
7. Bake for 2 hours - check for pop up done timer
8. Bake for 3 hours - check for pop up done timer
9. Google "Done Turkey"
10. Call Mom and learn there is no pop up done timer
11. Pierce crispy outer layer to see if juices run clear
12. Cuss juiceless turkey while putting it in refrigerator because it's 10:30 pm

Day Four:
13. Remove turkey from fridge
14. Remove turkey from congealed grease and all those clear juices that ran out of the turkey
15. Spend 1 hour making cranberry turkey wreath using less than 1/4 of turkey (legs only)
16. Place remaining turkey (breast and bone) in generic brand ziploc bag and place in freezer

Day 180:
17. Cuss freezer-burned bag of turkey
18. Realize there is no other food for dinner
19. Toss out turkey
20. Order a pizza

1 comment:

Sandy said...

I heard all about your "famous" turkey from Mom. That is hilarious!! You lasted longer than I would have battling the turkey. I think I might have just chucked it after the first day! I guess we won't be having Thanksgiving at your house this year...unless you start preparing that turkey now!!!!