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Sunday, October 26, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
Reduce, Reuse, Recycle...
Is Jordan's motto for boyfriends (as she told me on the way to school this morning).
Reduce: Reduce the boy to putty in your hand - by stalking them.
She wasn't sure on this one, but I think it would be safe to surmise here, as I have seen her MO in action. Continually approach the potential boyfriend, tell him he is so funny, cute, smart, insert any complimentary adjective here. Tell the potential boyfriend how you and he are best friends. Put yourself constantly in his path. Until he starts to believe you. Hence, you have reduced him to putty in your hands.
Reuse: Reuse an old boyfriend if necessary. If an old flame that you dumped begs you back, say no. Unless it has been a month or longer, and you do not have a new boyfriend. And he promises to do everything right this time. It goes without saying that you should dump him at any moment when a better boy comes along (or he reverts back to his old ways).
Recycle: Recycle boyfriends among your girlfriends. No more 1950's notion that a girl should never date her girlfriend's old boyfriend. Heck, when your school's girl to boy ratio is 3:1, you can never take a boy off the market!
So there it is, straight from the horse's mouth (or in this case, the teenager's mouth).
Reduce: Reduce the boy to putty in your hand - by stalking them.
She wasn't sure on this one, but I think it would be safe to surmise here, as I have seen her MO in action. Continually approach the potential boyfriend, tell him he is so funny, cute, smart, insert any complimentary adjective here. Tell the potential boyfriend how you and he are best friends. Put yourself constantly in his path. Until he starts to believe you. Hence, you have reduced him to putty in your hands.
Reuse: Reuse an old boyfriend if necessary. If an old flame that you dumped begs you back, say no. Unless it has been a month or longer, and you do not have a new boyfriend. And he promises to do everything right this time. It goes without saying that you should dump him at any moment when a better boy comes along (or he reverts back to his old ways).
Recycle: Recycle boyfriends among your girlfriends. No more 1950's notion that a girl should never date her girlfriend's old boyfriend. Heck, when your school's girl to boy ratio is 3:1, you can never take a boy off the market!
So there it is, straight from the horse's mouth (or in this case, the teenager's mouth).
Monday, August 25, 2008
Moving Pains
So everyone knows by now that the girls and I have moved back to Nashville. I went up to WI 2 weeks ago to be there with the movers as they packed and loaded our stuff. Since our stuff was being divided between two locations, it was a lot of hard work on my part getting everything separated so the movers had no trouble identifying what went where. The plan was to let Bryan's movers pack everything (since they were being paid by the Kohler Co.) on Monday and Tuesday, and then load his stuff for transport to SC on Wednesday. I had another company lined up to load my stuff on Thursday. It was a grand plan...
I chose a company called Nationwide Movers. I chose them because of two reasons: 1) they guaranteed pick-up and delivery dates, and 2) they would store my stuff up to 1 month free. Since I was working on a tight schedule in WI and wouldn't be ready for my stuff in Nashville until 2 weeks after the pick-up, this seemed like the best option. They were reasonably priced, and are accredited by the BBB and some moving association, so I felt good about my choice. How wrong I was!
Everything went off without a hitch Monday through Wednesday. The packers were very nice, very professional, and did an excellent job with both protecting the stuff and inventorying. There were 5 people there to pack the house, and since I had everything separated so well, they were able to pack the whole house in only one day! On Wednesday, Bryan's driver arrived. He and 3 or 4 other guys worked to load his stuff onto the truck. I was in awe! They moved like a well-oiled machine. They made use of the hand trucks to carry up to 5 boxes at a time UP THE STAIRS and onto the truck. One guy's whole job was to stay on the truck and best manipulate the goods for safe transport. I was feeling pretty positive since they were done in about 5 hours. I figured that if my driver was done in that amount of time, I may be able to catch an evening flight home on Thursday instead of having to stay until Friday. Then, my phone rang.
It was my movers saying that I needed to complete an inventory list so they knew what size truck to send. I had already done this over the telephone, but apparently it was not with that specific office, so I had to do it again. About an hour later, they called again to tell me that they would not have a truck here on Thursday as planned, but rather Friday morning as the crew they had available on Thursday was, "not the most professional crew." "Then why did you hire them?" I asked. I explained that I had a noon flight to catch on Friday, so they had to be here on Thursday. I also stated that I had explained all this to the "Moving Specialist" I booked the move through, and that he assured me the pick-up date. The woman said, "I don't know why he guaranteed that date. After all, we are a moving company. It's not like our guys are waiting around in WI to load your stuff!" This flippant, rude attitude set me off. I informed her that I would talk to my original guy and that pick-up on Friday was not acceptable. She said fine, and that I better go ahead and change my flight because they would not be there until Friday. I was livid! I tried calling my guy, but he never got back to me.
Thursday dawned, and I had no movers. I changed my flight to Friday evening to the tune of $246.00. Blood is boiling. Thursday evening, I received a call from the driver of the truck. He said they were finishing a job in Chicago and would be there between 8:00 and 8:30 Friday morning. I explained to him that I had to leave by 3:30, 4:00 at the latest on Friday to catch my flight, so to be sure they arrived on time. He said that would be no problem.
Friday morning, I arrive at the house at 7:40 and proceed to wait for 3 hours for the truck. When they finally did arrive at 10:30, there were only two guys. I asked if others were on their way since I had seen 4 or 5 guys load Bryan's stuff, and thought that this would be a lot of work for just 2. His response: "I will call someone. Can you go to the store and get 2 large coffees and 4 Red Bulls? We have been up for 23 hours." ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? By the time I got back from the store, the driver was still on the phone trying to round up extra help. I had no idea how he would find help. After all, if the truck wasn't waiting around in WI to load my stuff, I had a hard time believing that there were workers waiting around to do just that! Finally, at about 11:45, a woman and a teenage boy walked up to my house. That was the help.
The driver didn't really do very much, but the other guy he brought was furiously wrapping every piece of furniture in the moving blankets, then winding yards of tape around the entire bundle to hold it in place. I had never seen anything like it, but whatever, they are the "experts" and I figured that at least my stuff wouldn't get all scratched up. At one point, I noticed that the driver was unpacking something and repacking it in his own way. I questioned him on this and he basically said the other packers had not properly secured the item. Now, who would I trust to properly pack stuff at this point? The highly professional team that originally packed it, or this guy who had been awake for 23 hours? Skip ahead to where they actually started moving stuff out of the house. They looked about like what Bryan and I must have looked like when we loaded the U-Haul ourselves in Fieldstone Farms. They carried the boxes one at a time - even though they had hand trucks! It was taking forever! I proceeded to remind him that I needed to leave in a short amount of time, and he proceeded to assure me they would be finished.
At 2:00, the house was less than 1/2 empty and I knew I was not going to make my deadline. Upon speaking with him, he got mad saying, "Do not rush us. We are protecting your stuff!" I guess he finally decided that I was right - there was no way they would be finished in time - so he came up with an alternative plan: load all the crap on the front lawn. Then, he says, you can lock up and leave and we will finish loading it onto the truck. Was he serious? Now my yard looked like the Clampett's, and there was no way that I was going to leave my stuff unloaded with these jokers! So I started moving stuff out. I have no idea why I did this. I knew I was not going to make my flight. I was paying these people thousands of dollars so I would not have to do the moving, but desperate times call for desperate measures. And did I mention that while all my crap was on the lawn the sprinklers went off? I think you can begin to see why I am upset.
At 3:00, Bryan came by. He knew that I was to be leaving in a short while, and was attempting to assess the situation and see if there was anything he could do. (I am not ashamed to admit at this point that I did cry to him on the phone about how awful this all was and I was going to have to stay the night again, etc...) I called and changed my flight to Saturday morning. Thank goodness it was only a $22.00 fee this time. I made plans to get a hotel in Milwaukee near the airport so that I could go ahead and turn in my rental car. And then I waited for them to finish. At one point the driver informed me that I had a full truckload - about 14,000 pounds, and that I should pay the flat rate rather than the 60 cents per pound (I reminded him that my contract was for 50 cents per pound) that I agreed to. His "deal" - $8000.00. Let it be known that the professional company from earlier in the week estimated the entire house contents would weigh about 14 to 18 thousand pounds and that the entire move would cost about $12,000.00. Bryan took more than 1/2 the contents of the house, so you can see where this doesn't add up. I politely declined his offer of such a great deal.
At 4:30 they finally did. [Quick aside: if you do the math, and they had shown up at 8:00 am like they said, they would have been done by 2:00 - a full hour before I had to leave to catch my flight!] Now came the paperwork. For starters, the inventory list was ridiculous. He had simply written "Boxes" and drawn an arrow down the page. So there is no way to know how many boxes from each room he actually loaded. I also noticed that every single piece of furniture that he listed had been marked as "scratched." Now, I know that some of my furniture is a bit old, but most was brand new to this house, so there is no way that every single piece was scratched! Just a way to cover their asses if you ask me. Next came the packing materials and labor fees to the tune of over $600.00! Packing materials? Every bit of my stuff was already packed. He had me listed as using over 10 boxes (ranging from $25 to $30 dollars a piece) and 36 rolls of tape (at $5.00 a roll), with an additional fee of $15 to $18 per box for labor. Wasn't I already paying thousands of dollars for their labor? I lost it!!!! I demanded to know what the H he packed - EVERYTHING I OWNED HAD ALREADY BEEN PACKED BY THE PROFESSIONAL CREW EARLIER IN THE WEEK! He said he couldn't remember, but he was certain there was a dollhouse and couch cushions. Then I asked about the tape, as I had 15 rolls left over from the first crew that I had instructed him to use up before opening any new. He said he wasn't going to use tape that wasn't his. At the amount of tape they were securing around each piece of furniture, I am sure this was simply a scam to incur additional charges. He had also charged me for 2 flights of stairs ($150). Now, I do have 2 flights, but in my contract it clearly states that the first flight is free and each additional flight is $75.00. And then the kicker - he had me paying Florida state tax! I informed him that I was in WI and would be happy to pay WI tax (5 1/4), but that he could not legally charge me FL tax (8 1/4) since we were doing business in WI. I even went so far as to say that I wasn't even sure he could charge me tax period since we were crossing state lines. (I have no idea if this is true, but it sounded good and I was on a roll!) He said that the business was based out of FL and he had to pay FL, so the company needed to recoup that loss - I told him where he could shove it and did not agree to sign the packing materials and labor fees sheet - that I would take it up with the company later. Oh, and I forgot the 3% convenience fee he wanted to charge me for using a credit card - apparently the fee the company was charging him and he said he needed to recoup that "loss" - when there was no mention of that in any of my paperwork or else I would have paid with check or cash!
I made it home Saturday morning and immediately was on the phone with my original "Moving Specialist." He stated that some of what the driver was doing was "idiotic" and told me he would have the Regional Manager call me Monday morning. Fast forward to Monday morning - no call. OK, so they were having a hurricane, but still! I never did connect with him, but finally on Thursday I spoke with the co-owner. [Another aside: apparently Nationwide has several "franchises" that are individually owned and operated, so I was not dealing with the accredited, reputable company, but some branch based out of Miami.] The co-owner [of the franchise] was exactly like all the other representatives from the company. That is to say, he was rude, made excuses, defended his actions, did not put me, the customer, first, and was MIddle Eastern (as they all were). I am not racist, but as the conversation went along, I could tell this man was not used to American business practices and customer service standards. I explained to him that I was not trying to get out of paying for legitimate fees, but that the packing/labor fees was ridiculous, and that I expected to be reimbursed for the flight changes and extra night at the hotel. He never specifically agreed to this...But he did start explaining how this was a business and they needed to make money, after all. He also said they would not be guaranteeing the delivery of my stuff since they have families and certainly I could find it in my heart to understand that they would want the weekend off. Fine, don't work weekends, BUT THEN DON'T TELL ME YOU DO WORK WEEKENDS AND HOLIDAYS AND WILL GUARANTEE MY DELIVERY DATE!!! I told him all the items that I felt were adding up to one big scam. He said - you don't know what a scam is. A scam is when no one returns your calls and you never see your stuff again! He then went on to say that Bryan had hurt the driver's feelings and that he felt threatened by him, and what was I going to do about that? He said he understood that this is America and we have freedom of speech, but the driver was hurt. I say again, WAS HE KIDDING? What do you want me to do? I asked. He said, well, you have a nice long weekend to think about it! I told him this was the strangest conversation I had ever had with a business owner as it was so unprofessional. I really didn't know how to respond or handle our talk - it was so bizarre! I can just imagine my dad telling some unhappy customer that his parking attendant's feelings were hurt! Get real! I did say well you are a business owner, what do you do if your driver feels threatened? He said they called the police. I said, well he didn't so sorry! So bizarre...
The bottom line - if I see my stuff at all again I will be lucky. It definitely won't be when they promised as they will all be at home with their families. I may see it later in the week, but I am thinking they will hold it for as long as possible just to stick it to me! I plan to file a complaint with the BBB and to make a call to the National (or regional?) Nationwide company to let them know exactly how this branch is operating. We have not come to an agreement yet on the total cost, or it they will deduct the amount of change in flight / hotel fees. I have a feeling I will pay the full amount - after they have my stuff! I will keep you posted...
**Oh yeah, they said my contents weighed 14,000 pounds (there is no way!). But even so, the total cost of the move (not even considering the reimbursements) was less than the "deal" the driver was offering me of $8000.00! Any way you look at it, I am being scammed!
I chose a company called Nationwide Movers. I chose them because of two reasons: 1) they guaranteed pick-up and delivery dates, and 2) they would store my stuff up to 1 month free. Since I was working on a tight schedule in WI and wouldn't be ready for my stuff in Nashville until 2 weeks after the pick-up, this seemed like the best option. They were reasonably priced, and are accredited by the BBB and some moving association, so I felt good about my choice. How wrong I was!
Everything went off without a hitch Monday through Wednesday. The packers were very nice, very professional, and did an excellent job with both protecting the stuff and inventorying. There were 5 people there to pack the house, and since I had everything separated so well, they were able to pack the whole house in only one day! On Wednesday, Bryan's driver arrived. He and 3 or 4 other guys worked to load his stuff onto the truck. I was in awe! They moved like a well-oiled machine. They made use of the hand trucks to carry up to 5 boxes at a time UP THE STAIRS and onto the truck. One guy's whole job was to stay on the truck and best manipulate the goods for safe transport. I was feeling pretty positive since they were done in about 5 hours. I figured that if my driver was done in that amount of time, I may be able to catch an evening flight home on Thursday instead of having to stay until Friday. Then, my phone rang.
It was my movers saying that I needed to complete an inventory list so they knew what size truck to send. I had already done this over the telephone, but apparently it was not with that specific office, so I had to do it again. About an hour later, they called again to tell me that they would not have a truck here on Thursday as planned, but rather Friday morning as the crew they had available on Thursday was, "not the most professional crew." "Then why did you hire them?" I asked. I explained that I had a noon flight to catch on Friday, so they had to be here on Thursday. I also stated that I had explained all this to the "Moving Specialist" I booked the move through, and that he assured me the pick-up date. The woman said, "I don't know why he guaranteed that date. After all, we are a moving company. It's not like our guys are waiting around in WI to load your stuff!" This flippant, rude attitude set me off. I informed her that I would talk to my original guy and that pick-up on Friday was not acceptable. She said fine, and that I better go ahead and change my flight because they would not be there until Friday. I was livid! I tried calling my guy, but he never got back to me.
Thursday dawned, and I had no movers. I changed my flight to Friday evening to the tune of $246.00. Blood is boiling. Thursday evening, I received a call from the driver of the truck. He said they were finishing a job in Chicago and would be there between 8:00 and 8:30 Friday morning. I explained to him that I had to leave by 3:30, 4:00 at the latest on Friday to catch my flight, so to be sure they arrived on time. He said that would be no problem.
Friday morning, I arrive at the house at 7:40 and proceed to wait for 3 hours for the truck. When they finally did arrive at 10:30, there were only two guys. I asked if others were on their way since I had seen 4 or 5 guys load Bryan's stuff, and thought that this would be a lot of work for just 2. His response: "I will call someone. Can you go to the store and get 2 large coffees and 4 Red Bulls? We have been up for 23 hours." ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? By the time I got back from the store, the driver was still on the phone trying to round up extra help. I had no idea how he would find help. After all, if the truck wasn't waiting around in WI to load my stuff, I had a hard time believing that there were workers waiting around to do just that! Finally, at about 11:45, a woman and a teenage boy walked up to my house. That was the help.
The driver didn't really do very much, but the other guy he brought was furiously wrapping every piece of furniture in the moving blankets, then winding yards of tape around the entire bundle to hold it in place. I had never seen anything like it, but whatever, they are the "experts" and I figured that at least my stuff wouldn't get all scratched up. At one point, I noticed that the driver was unpacking something and repacking it in his own way. I questioned him on this and he basically said the other packers had not properly secured the item. Now, who would I trust to properly pack stuff at this point? The highly professional team that originally packed it, or this guy who had been awake for 23 hours? Skip ahead to where they actually started moving stuff out of the house. They looked about like what Bryan and I must have looked like when we loaded the U-Haul ourselves in Fieldstone Farms. They carried the boxes one at a time - even though they had hand trucks! It was taking forever! I proceeded to remind him that I needed to leave in a short amount of time, and he proceeded to assure me they would be finished.
At 2:00, the house was less than 1/2 empty and I knew I was not going to make my deadline. Upon speaking with him, he got mad saying, "Do not rush us. We are protecting your stuff!" I guess he finally decided that I was right - there was no way they would be finished in time - so he came up with an alternative plan: load all the crap on the front lawn. Then, he says, you can lock up and leave and we will finish loading it onto the truck. Was he serious? Now my yard looked like the Clampett's, and there was no way that I was going to leave my stuff unloaded with these jokers! So I started moving stuff out. I have no idea why I did this. I knew I was not going to make my flight. I was paying these people thousands of dollars so I would not have to do the moving, but desperate times call for desperate measures. And did I mention that while all my crap was on the lawn the sprinklers went off? I think you can begin to see why I am upset.
At 3:00, Bryan came by. He knew that I was to be leaving in a short while, and was attempting to assess the situation and see if there was anything he could do. (I am not ashamed to admit at this point that I did cry to him on the phone about how awful this all was and I was going to have to stay the night again, etc...) I called and changed my flight to Saturday morning. Thank goodness it was only a $22.00 fee this time. I made plans to get a hotel in Milwaukee near the airport so that I could go ahead and turn in my rental car. And then I waited for them to finish. At one point the driver informed me that I had a full truckload - about 14,000 pounds, and that I should pay the flat rate rather than the 60 cents per pound (I reminded him that my contract was for 50 cents per pound) that I agreed to. His "deal" - $8000.00. Let it be known that the professional company from earlier in the week estimated the entire house contents would weigh about 14 to 18 thousand pounds and that the entire move would cost about $12,000.00. Bryan took more than 1/2 the contents of the house, so you can see where this doesn't add up. I politely declined his offer of such a great deal.
At 4:30 they finally did. [Quick aside: if you do the math, and they had shown up at 8:00 am like they said, they would have been done by 2:00 - a full hour before I had to leave to catch my flight!] Now came the paperwork. For starters, the inventory list was ridiculous. He had simply written "Boxes" and drawn an arrow down the page. So there is no way to know how many boxes from each room he actually loaded. I also noticed that every single piece of furniture that he listed had been marked as "scratched." Now, I know that some of my furniture is a bit old, but most was brand new to this house, so there is no way that every single piece was scratched! Just a way to cover their asses if you ask me. Next came the packing materials and labor fees to the tune of over $600.00! Packing materials? Every bit of my stuff was already packed. He had me listed as using over 10 boxes (ranging from $25 to $30 dollars a piece) and 36 rolls of tape (at $5.00 a roll), with an additional fee of $15 to $18 per box for labor. Wasn't I already paying thousands of dollars for their labor? I lost it!!!! I demanded to know what the H he packed - EVERYTHING I OWNED HAD ALREADY BEEN PACKED BY THE PROFESSIONAL CREW EARLIER IN THE WEEK! He said he couldn't remember, but he was certain there was a dollhouse and couch cushions. Then I asked about the tape, as I had 15 rolls left over from the first crew that I had instructed him to use up before opening any new. He said he wasn't going to use tape that wasn't his. At the amount of tape they were securing around each piece of furniture, I am sure this was simply a scam to incur additional charges. He had also charged me for 2 flights of stairs ($150). Now, I do have 2 flights, but in my contract it clearly states that the first flight is free and each additional flight is $75.00. And then the kicker - he had me paying Florida state tax! I informed him that I was in WI and would be happy to pay WI tax (5 1/4), but that he could not legally charge me FL tax (8 1/4) since we were doing business in WI. I even went so far as to say that I wasn't even sure he could charge me tax period since we were crossing state lines. (I have no idea if this is true, but it sounded good and I was on a roll!) He said that the business was based out of FL and he had to pay FL, so the company needed to recoup that loss - I told him where he could shove it and did not agree to sign the packing materials and labor fees sheet - that I would take it up with the company later. Oh, and I forgot the 3% convenience fee he wanted to charge me for using a credit card - apparently the fee the company was charging him and he said he needed to recoup that "loss" - when there was no mention of that in any of my paperwork or else I would have paid with check or cash!
I made it home Saturday morning and immediately was on the phone with my original "Moving Specialist." He stated that some of what the driver was doing was "idiotic" and told me he would have the Regional Manager call me Monday morning. Fast forward to Monday morning - no call. OK, so they were having a hurricane, but still! I never did connect with him, but finally on Thursday I spoke with the co-owner. [Another aside: apparently Nationwide has several "franchises" that are individually owned and operated, so I was not dealing with the accredited, reputable company, but some branch based out of Miami.] The co-owner [of the franchise] was exactly like all the other representatives from the company. That is to say, he was rude, made excuses, defended his actions, did not put me, the customer, first, and was MIddle Eastern (as they all were). I am not racist, but as the conversation went along, I could tell this man was not used to American business practices and customer service standards. I explained to him that I was not trying to get out of paying for legitimate fees, but that the packing/labor fees was ridiculous, and that I expected to be reimbursed for the flight changes and extra night at the hotel. He never specifically agreed to this...But he did start explaining how this was a business and they needed to make money, after all. He also said they would not be guaranteeing the delivery of my stuff since they have families and certainly I could find it in my heart to understand that they would want the weekend off. Fine, don't work weekends, BUT THEN DON'T TELL ME YOU DO WORK WEEKENDS AND HOLIDAYS AND WILL GUARANTEE MY DELIVERY DATE!!! I told him all the items that I felt were adding up to one big scam. He said - you don't know what a scam is. A scam is when no one returns your calls and you never see your stuff again! He then went on to say that Bryan had hurt the driver's feelings and that he felt threatened by him, and what was I going to do about that? He said he understood that this is America and we have freedom of speech, but the driver was hurt. I say again, WAS HE KIDDING? What do you want me to do? I asked. He said, well, you have a nice long weekend to think about it! I told him this was the strangest conversation I had ever had with a business owner as it was so unprofessional. I really didn't know how to respond or handle our talk - it was so bizarre! I can just imagine my dad telling some unhappy customer that his parking attendant's feelings were hurt! Get real! I did say well you are a business owner, what do you do if your driver feels threatened? He said they called the police. I said, well he didn't so sorry! So bizarre...
The bottom line - if I see my stuff at all again I will be lucky. It definitely won't be when they promised as they will all be at home with their families. I may see it later in the week, but I am thinking they will hold it for as long as possible just to stick it to me! I plan to file a complaint with the BBB and to make a call to the National (or regional?) Nationwide company to let them know exactly how this branch is operating. We have not come to an agreement yet on the total cost, or it they will deduct the amount of change in flight / hotel fees. I have a feeling I will pay the full amount - after they have my stuff! I will keep you posted...
**Oh yeah, they said my contents weighed 14,000 pounds (there is no way!). But even so, the total cost of the move (not even considering the reimbursements) was less than the "deal" the driver was offering me of $8000.00! Any way you look at it, I am being scammed!
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Steph's 'Stache
Anyone who has seen me this summer knows it's true - I have a mustache!
Not literally, of course, but you can't tell it's not a full lip of hair unless you inspect my mouth at an uncomfortably close range.
As is true with most of my stories, you have to go back quite some way to get to the beginning... Last summer, my family vacationed at The Grand Hotel on Mackinac Island. Since Mindy is past college, and therefore past the point of coming home each summer, it had been a little while since I had seen her. After the initial hugging and "How are you's" I noticed that Mindy had a five o'clock shadow on her upper lip. Being the nice, supportive sister I am, I politely waited until the next day to question her about her unlovely lady lip. Mindy immediately went into defensive "I'm the baby of the family and therefore very sensitive" mode. She said that there was no hair on her lip as she is a religious waxer, but that for some unexplainable reason, her upper lip seemed to be tanning at a rate much faster than the rest of her face, therefore giving her the look of a mustache. (It is important to note here that Mindy is a sun worshipper, so having a much tanner upper lip is hard to imagine since the rest of her face is already so dark, but it was.) She went on to say that she had no idea what to do about it, how to hide it, how to get rid of it, and best yet, how to make sure it never came back. I did the sisterly thing and lamented with her plight while also offering makeup tips on how to possibly blend the color of her face more naturally with her lip. Later that week, I was having a facial at the hotel spa and decided to ask the aesthetician if she had ever heard of Mindy's condition. Her first question was, "Does she wax her upper lip?" I replied in the affirmative and she went on to explain that the waxing changes the composition of the skin (or something along those lines) therefore making it more susceptible to sun exposure. It was really way longer and much more scientific than that, but come on, it was over a year ago, and not all that important to me at the time! I dutifully reported to MIndy what I had discovered. Since then, she regularly applies sunscreen to her upper lip (while carefully making sure none of it touches any other part of her body). And voila! No more mustache.
Fast forward to this summer and our family vacation in Mexico. Since I had moved to Wisconsin, it had been a little while since everyone had seen me. After the initial hugging and "How are you's" everyone noticed that I had a five o'clock shadow on my upper lip. Being the nice, supportive sisters/mother they are, they politely waited until the next day to question me about my unlovely lady lip. I immediately went into defensive "I'm the middle child and why does everyone pick on me" mode. I said that there was no hair on my lip as I am a religious waxer, but that for some unexplainable reason, my upper lip seemed to be tanning at a rate much faster than the rest of my face, therefore giving me the look of a mustache. And it's all Mindy's fault! I have never had this trouble before, and I have been a lip waxer for over a decade! I didn't have this trouble last summer when Mindy did, in fact I had never even heard of such a thing before!!! (It should be noted that I am a huge hypochondriac and often think I have several inflictions after first hearing of them. Just ask dad about my brain tumor, my shin hernia, or the time I contracted malaria.) But this time it was true! I heard about the condition, and then I get it.
So that's it. I am stuck with the stache until the skin sloughs off or my tan fades. I have taken Mindy's advice and apply 30 or higher SPF sunblock to my upper lip while applying only 15 or so to the rest of my face. So far, no change has taken place. It is very embarrassing, and no amount of cover-up or foundation can mask my stache. My family thinks it is quite funny, but I'm not laughing. The silver lining: Maybe now my family will take my medical complaints more seriously!
Not literally, of course, but you can't tell it's not a full lip of hair unless you inspect my mouth at an uncomfortably close range.
As is true with most of my stories, you have to go back quite some way to get to the beginning... Last summer, my family vacationed at The Grand Hotel on Mackinac Island. Since Mindy is past college, and therefore past the point of coming home each summer, it had been a little while since I had seen her. After the initial hugging and "How are you's" I noticed that Mindy had a five o'clock shadow on her upper lip. Being the nice, supportive sister I am, I politely waited until the next day to question her about her unlovely lady lip. Mindy immediately went into defensive "I'm the baby of the family and therefore very sensitive" mode. She said that there was no hair on her lip as she is a religious waxer, but that for some unexplainable reason, her upper lip seemed to be tanning at a rate much faster than the rest of her face, therefore giving her the look of a mustache. (It is important to note here that Mindy is a sun worshipper, so having a much tanner upper lip is hard to imagine since the rest of her face is already so dark, but it was.) She went on to say that she had no idea what to do about it, how to hide it, how to get rid of it, and best yet, how to make sure it never came back. I did the sisterly thing and lamented with her plight while also offering makeup tips on how to possibly blend the color of her face more naturally with her lip. Later that week, I was having a facial at the hotel spa and decided to ask the aesthetician if she had ever heard of Mindy's condition. Her first question was, "Does she wax her upper lip?" I replied in the affirmative and she went on to explain that the waxing changes the composition of the skin (or something along those lines) therefore making it more susceptible to sun exposure. It was really way longer and much more scientific than that, but come on, it was over a year ago, and not all that important to me at the time! I dutifully reported to MIndy what I had discovered. Since then, she regularly applies sunscreen to her upper lip (while carefully making sure none of it touches any other part of her body). And voila! No more mustache.
Fast forward to this summer and our family vacation in Mexico. Since I had moved to Wisconsin, it had been a little while since everyone had seen me. After the initial hugging and "How are you's" everyone noticed that I had a five o'clock shadow on my upper lip. Being the nice, supportive sisters/mother they are, they politely waited until the next day to question me about my unlovely lady lip. I immediately went into defensive "I'm the middle child and why does everyone pick on me" mode. I said that there was no hair on my lip as I am a religious waxer, but that for some unexplainable reason, my upper lip seemed to be tanning at a rate much faster than the rest of my face, therefore giving me the look of a mustache. And it's all Mindy's fault! I have never had this trouble before, and I have been a lip waxer for over a decade! I didn't have this trouble last summer when Mindy did, in fact I had never even heard of such a thing before!!! (It should be noted that I am a huge hypochondriac and often think I have several inflictions after first hearing of them. Just ask dad about my brain tumor, my shin hernia, or the time I contracted malaria.) But this time it was true! I heard about the condition, and then I get it.
So that's it. I am stuck with the stache until the skin sloughs off or my tan fades. I have taken Mindy's advice and apply 30 or higher SPF sunblock to my upper lip while applying only 15 or so to the rest of my face. So far, no change has taken place. It is very embarrassing, and no amount of cover-up or foundation can mask my stache. My family thinks it is quite funny, but I'm not laughing. The silver lining: Maybe now my family will take my medical complaints more seriously!
Monday, July 7, 2008
Caught with my pants down!
I took the girls out to eat on Saturday. We went to their favorite restaurant (that we don't have in WI, so haven't been to in forever) - O'Charley's. Our meal was uneventful, until dessert. We ordered the caramel pie to split.
I have already told you all about my bathroom issues in a previous blog entry. I am still off the medication, and doing ok, but sometimes the attacks come on quick - you can't always rush home to go in peace...and this was one of those times. I left the credit card with the girls and told them to give it to the server - I was going to the bathroom.
As is my custom when I have to do a big job in public, I chose the last stall in the bathroom. As is usually the case, this happens to be the handicapped stall. No biggie, I think. I was even pleasantly surprised (don't be too grossed out here) to find that a woman and her toddler were leaving the stall after changing a nasty diaper, so no one would even attribute any foul odor to me.
All is progressing well until I hear the door open and the obvious sounds of a lady shuffling along using a walker. What?! I have never actually seen someone who truly needed the handicapped stall in a bathroom before (or at least can't readily recall any such situation). The lady tries my door and I have to give the nice reply, "Someone's in hear" while feeling totally guilty for taking up this stall and making this poor lady wait! Plus now, I am interrupted, so I am also a little perturbed at how I would finish with an audience!! (I told you that I have serious issues with public pooing!)
As if this interruption isn't bad enough, I hear a voice call, "Mom?" It is unmistakeably Morgan's. "Yes," I answer. At this point she proceeds to go into the stall next to mine and says, "Here," and hands to me, under the stall, the bill and pen to sign it with! I could have died! What on earth made her bring this into the restroom?! So as not to cause any disturbance with the handicapped lady who is patiently waiting for my stall, I just take the darn thing and start to seethe.
Now, I don't know about you, but I do not want any person seeing me exit the bathroom with the bill and the pen. I mean, who does that? So I do the only logical (to me) thing, I stick it in my waist-band and hide it under my shirt! So I quickly get up from my job (which I am obviously going to have to finish at home) and exit the stall. I wash my hands and return to the table. Where I promptly begin to berate the girls for sending me the bill in the bathroom! Morgan said Jordan told her to do it [as a side note, this is always how it goes down, Jordan thinks of the ideas, and Morgan carries them out!] and that they didn't want to wait for me to come out of the bathroom! Morgan said she thought I would sign it (where, on my knee?) and give it back to her. I nicely pointed out that even if they had a signed bill, I had the car keys and drivers' license, so where exactly did they think they were going??
The moral of the story: Never use the pen offered by the server - you never know how many trips to the ladies' room it has made!
I have already told you all about my bathroom issues in a previous blog entry. I am still off the medication, and doing ok, but sometimes the attacks come on quick - you can't always rush home to go in peace...and this was one of those times. I left the credit card with the girls and told them to give it to the server - I was going to the bathroom.
As is my custom when I have to do a big job in public, I chose the last stall in the bathroom. As is usually the case, this happens to be the handicapped stall. No biggie, I think. I was even pleasantly surprised (don't be too grossed out here) to find that a woman and her toddler were leaving the stall after changing a nasty diaper, so no one would even attribute any foul odor to me.
All is progressing well until I hear the door open and the obvious sounds of a lady shuffling along using a walker. What?! I have never actually seen someone who truly needed the handicapped stall in a bathroom before (or at least can't readily recall any such situation). The lady tries my door and I have to give the nice reply, "Someone's in hear" while feeling totally guilty for taking up this stall and making this poor lady wait! Plus now, I am interrupted, so I am also a little perturbed at how I would finish with an audience!! (I told you that I have serious issues with public pooing!)
As if this interruption isn't bad enough, I hear a voice call, "Mom?" It is unmistakeably Morgan's. "Yes," I answer. At this point she proceeds to go into the stall next to mine and says, "Here," and hands to me, under the stall, the bill and pen to sign it with! I could have died! What on earth made her bring this into the restroom?! So as not to cause any disturbance with the handicapped lady who is patiently waiting for my stall, I just take the darn thing and start to seethe.
Now, I don't know about you, but I do not want any person seeing me exit the bathroom with the bill and the pen. I mean, who does that? So I do the only logical (to me) thing, I stick it in my waist-band and hide it under my shirt! So I quickly get up from my job (which I am obviously going to have to finish at home) and exit the stall. I wash my hands and return to the table. Where I promptly begin to berate the girls for sending me the bill in the bathroom! Morgan said Jordan told her to do it [as a side note, this is always how it goes down, Jordan thinks of the ideas, and Morgan carries them out!] and that they didn't want to wait for me to come out of the bathroom! Morgan said she thought I would sign it (where, on my knee?) and give it back to her. I nicely pointed out that even if they had a signed bill, I had the car keys and drivers' license, so where exactly did they think they were going??
The moral of the story: Never use the pen offered by the server - you never know how many trips to the ladies' room it has made!
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Steph is out-of-practice!
Ok - so I know it's been a while (7 years to be exact) since my girls were 5, but I had no idea how rusty I was in dealing with that age group!
Brantley came up to WI on June 8 - just a short two weeks ago. Since then, I have been a cocker spaniel, the beatuy parlor lady, and Joe, Brantley's prom date. I have been to a Disney Princess party at the Y, craft day at the library, and have watched the world premier of Camp Rock on Disney Channel. Come to think of it, I have now seen every show on Disney Channel - twice - as it is permanently playing on my T.V. And the cooking!! I forgot how nice it was that my girls can not only fix their own breakfast and snacks, but Morgan actually cooks dinner, too. Gone are those days! I am back to being in the kitchen almost full-time. No sooner have I cleaned up from one meal/snack than Brantley is ready to eat again! And we no longer can have "fend for yourself" nights for dinner. And can you believe that Brantley actually needs help in the bath? I haven't had to do that in a while!
And the toys...since Brantley is afraid of being in the basement by herself, that means that all the toys from down there are now up here - cluttering my family room. I have been forced to place two baskets in an out-of-the-way spot behind my couch to be the catchall for all the junk. I swear I pick up all day long, and even though the house is perfect when I go to bed, it is already a complete wreck after breakfast! Brantley does like to play in her room, and since that is upstairs where I don't have to see it, we only pick that up about every other day...I have learned that I am completely anal about the cleanliness/straightness of my house. I feel like I spend way too much time asking her to "put that away," or "pick that up," or "please flush the toilet," and "turn the lights off when you are done." I sound worse than my own mother! (Sorry, mom!)
I am exhausted! Either I am getting too old for little ones, or else I am just really rusty! I know that my girls were just like her - worse in fact, because there were two of them - but I don't remember all the work. I guess it's like childbirth: you soon forget just how painful it was. I have forgotten just how much work kids are! (The only difference this time around - at least Bryan can take over with all the "playing" once he gets home from work. He isn't nearly as much fun as me, but he will have to do!)
All that being said, we (or at least Brantely) are having lots of fun. This week: The Bee Movie, a juggler, a My Little Pony party, and whatever "unscheduled" make-believe play she concocts. Hats off to Sandy and Mom for their dedication to full-time motherhood!!!
**A slight disclaimer: All this being said, let me assure you that my girls are still just as hard, only in a different way. I still have their junk strewn all over the house, but they are much better at picking it up when I go nuts than Brantley is. They are still dominating the T.V. it's just with other channels I have no interest in, like E! and MTV. And maybe I don't have to do a ton of meal preparation for them, but the amount of driving to and from activities/friends' houses takes up just as much of my day!
Gotta' love them - and I do!
Brantley came up to WI on June 8 - just a short two weeks ago. Since then, I have been a cocker spaniel, the beatuy parlor lady, and Joe, Brantley's prom date. I have been to a Disney Princess party at the Y, craft day at the library, and have watched the world premier of Camp Rock on Disney Channel. Come to think of it, I have now seen every show on Disney Channel - twice - as it is permanently playing on my T.V. And the cooking!! I forgot how nice it was that my girls can not only fix their own breakfast and snacks, but Morgan actually cooks dinner, too. Gone are those days! I am back to being in the kitchen almost full-time. No sooner have I cleaned up from one meal/snack than Brantley is ready to eat again! And we no longer can have "fend for yourself" nights for dinner. And can you believe that Brantley actually needs help in the bath? I haven't had to do that in a while!
And the toys...since Brantley is afraid of being in the basement by herself, that means that all the toys from down there are now up here - cluttering my family room. I have been forced to place two baskets in an out-of-the-way spot behind my couch to be the catchall for all the junk. I swear I pick up all day long, and even though the house is perfect when I go to bed, it is already a complete wreck after breakfast! Brantley does like to play in her room, and since that is upstairs where I don't have to see it, we only pick that up about every other day...I have learned that I am completely anal about the cleanliness/straightness of my house. I feel like I spend way too much time asking her to "put that away," or "pick that up," or "please flush the toilet," and "turn the lights off when you are done." I sound worse than my own mother! (Sorry, mom!)
I am exhausted! Either I am getting too old for little ones, or else I am just really rusty! I know that my girls were just like her - worse in fact, because there were two of them - but I don't remember all the work. I guess it's like childbirth: you soon forget just how painful it was. I have forgotten just how much work kids are! (The only difference this time around - at least Bryan can take over with all the "playing" once he gets home from work. He isn't nearly as much fun as me, but he will have to do!)
All that being said, we (or at least Brantely) are having lots of fun. This week: The Bee Movie, a juggler, a My Little Pony party, and whatever "unscheduled" make-believe play she concocts. Hats off to Sandy and Mom for their dedication to full-time motherhood!!!
**A slight disclaimer: All this being said, let me assure you that my girls are still just as hard, only in a different way. I still have their junk strewn all over the house, but they are much better at picking it up when I go nuts than Brantley is. They are still dominating the T.V. it's just with other channels I have no interest in, like E! and MTV. And maybe I don't have to do a ton of meal preparation for them, but the amount of driving to and from activities/friends' houses takes up just as much of my day!
Gotta' love them - and I do!
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Nothing Exciting Ever Happens in WI!
Or at least, that's how we feel. Seriously, nothing is going on!
Mom and Dad and Mr. and Mrs. Black came up last weekend so the guys could play golf at the Kohler courses. They made it through one full round at Whistling Straits, and didn't get but to the 4th hole or so on Blackwolf Run before the rain/storms came. They weren't too upset, though, as they received their "raincheck" in the form of in-store credit to use at the pro shop!
Mom, Mrs. Black, Morgan and I went to Appleton to shop at some scrapbook stores and to hit the mall. We had a great time. We were all very proud to have limited our spending to "just the essentials." Mrs. Black gave Morgan a gift card to Abercrombie for being such a good hostess, and mom gave her some money to spend at the mall (since she knew Morgan was saving up for this really expensive camera and didn't have any money to spend) so she was in hog heaven. We enjoyed the long trek (1 hour and 15 minutes one way) and getting to catch up on all the latest gossip.
Saturday night, we went to Kohler's nicest dining facility - The Immigrant Room at the American Club. It was really good. Bryan and I don't eat like that very often!! Thanks Mom, Dad, and Mr. and Mrs. Black! (Morgan even tried caviar!)
Jordan had spent the weekend with her "best" friend here in WI shopping in Chicago for a graduation dress. The girl's step-grandmother (who is really quite young and hip, apparently) even gave Jordan some money to spend! So needless to say, she too, was in hog heaven!!
Bryan had to leave very early Sunday morning to go to SC to pick up Brantley. As usual, his plane was delayed on the way home, and they didn't get home until after 1:00 in the morning!
The girls' last day of school was Wednesday. Neither seems too sad at the thought that it would be the last time either would see the school or those kids...although I think Jordan will definitely be sad to leave some of her friends.
Bryan and I celebrated our 1-year anniversary last night. We ate at this really nice restaurant on one of the other well-known golf courses. It really wasn't all that great. We also spent the night at this historic bed and breakfast. That was really fun.
Which brings us to today and our fun time of running errands.
So truly, nothing exciting ever happens in WI! I can understand why the girls are anxious to get to camp!
Mom and Dad and Mr. and Mrs. Black came up last weekend so the guys could play golf at the Kohler courses. They made it through one full round at Whistling Straits, and didn't get but to the 4th hole or so on Blackwolf Run before the rain/storms came. They weren't too upset, though, as they received their "raincheck" in the form of in-store credit to use at the pro shop!
Mom, Mrs. Black, Morgan and I went to Appleton to shop at some scrapbook stores and to hit the mall. We had a great time. We were all very proud to have limited our spending to "just the essentials." Mrs. Black gave Morgan a gift card to Abercrombie for being such a good hostess, and mom gave her some money to spend at the mall (since she knew Morgan was saving up for this really expensive camera and didn't have any money to spend) so she was in hog heaven. We enjoyed the long trek (1 hour and 15 minutes one way) and getting to catch up on all the latest gossip.
Saturday night, we went to Kohler's nicest dining facility - The Immigrant Room at the American Club. It was really good. Bryan and I don't eat like that very often!! Thanks Mom, Dad, and Mr. and Mrs. Black! (Morgan even tried caviar!)
Jordan had spent the weekend with her "best" friend here in WI shopping in Chicago for a graduation dress. The girl's step-grandmother (who is really quite young and hip, apparently) even gave Jordan some money to spend! So needless to say, she too, was in hog heaven!!
Bryan had to leave very early Sunday morning to go to SC to pick up Brantley. As usual, his plane was delayed on the way home, and they didn't get home until after 1:00 in the morning!
The girls' last day of school was Wednesday. Neither seems too sad at the thought that it would be the last time either would see the school or those kids...although I think Jordan will definitely be sad to leave some of her friends.
Bryan and I celebrated our 1-year anniversary last night. We ate at this really nice restaurant on one of the other well-known golf courses. It really wasn't all that great. We also spent the night at this historic bed and breakfast. That was really fun.
Which brings us to today and our fun time of running errands.
So truly, nothing exciting ever happens in WI! I can understand why the girls are anxious to get to camp!
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