Life without TV

So last night I was taking Merrill out to dinner for her birthday when Jordan starts blowing up my phone with calls and texts. I tried to ignore her, as we were in a really nice Italian restaurant (Giovanni's for you Nashville folks), and I hadn't been gone all that long - certainly not long enough for an emergency to already have erupted - but since I had only set my phone on vibrate, and was carrying a small clutch, it was kind of hard.

"What's the emergency?" I text her. Yes - at the table. (We had already told the server we had cocktails and appetizers at another location, so were only here for the main course. That didn't go over too well. The Giovanni had already stopped by and introduced himself. I told him his restaurant had a lot to live up to - my tira missou experience in Carmine's in NY (another blog another time), and even though he said he had "nothing to worry about" I'm not sure he cared much for that. So I was sort of nervous we would be asked to leave, but...)

The emergency? The tv bulb finally blew. I knew if was going out - when my parents gave me the TV it was already pretty dim, and the coloring was weird, so I knew it was just a matter of time. But it's sort of scary when it happens - it makes a loud pop and everything goes black. So it really freaked Jordan out. She knew what had happened, so I was not sure why she was calling me. Like I could run home and quickly replace the bulb or something. Got a spare? Yeah, right in my purse... DUH!

So today I was shopping for a new bulb. I did get a better deal than I thought I would, but it still cost me about $130.00 with shipping/tax. I believe my dad said the tv wasn't really worth replacing the bulb again, but it's so huge, and now I'm spoiled with it, and since I can't afford a new one, I figured it wasn't too bad. Anyways, the bulb will ship in 3-7 days. Good thing we'll be in St. Lous this week, because life without tv is eerie!

Here's life without TV in our house:
- Jordan never shuts up. She thinks her stories are awesome, but they are only slightly better than mine!

- Morgan considers anyone looking at her or talking to her a stalker - as in, "Mom, why do you keep stalking me?" I got to hear this more often than usual today since I was trying to fill the silence.

- Now I know why I like to nap with the tv on. Normal naptime for Steph - 30 to 45 minutes. Today's nap? 1 1/2 hours!!!! Wasted the whole darn afternoon!

- The chairs in the rec room (where Jordan and I finally reverted to watch tv) aren't all that comfortable. And the tv is really small. And there is no surround sound.

- I'm really sick of "screamo" music. Yes, it is a new genre. Yes, it is just like it sounds - screaming!

The thing I've realized the most today is that I never would have called us a tv family. We don't just sit around all day watching tv. But the tv is always on. It is a normal part of our "family noise." And it's really kind of creepy without it!

Next blog: Steph replacing the bulb. The company I ordered it from had a 5 minute YouTube how-to video on it. Included in supplies needed were latex gloves. Need I say more??

Typical Conversation on a Monday Evening

Jordan: Mom, are you seriously wearing that?

Steph: What? I am going to work out.

Jordan: That shirt is really bright, and I can see your super-white sports bra really clearly. In fact, yellow, grey, and white should never be worn alone.

Steph: They aren't alone - there's yellow, grey, and white.

Jordan: Well, that's just a sign - those colors by themselves...

Steph: What?

Jordan: A sign you should not be seen in public.

Things Don't Always Pay Off...

Being a perfectionist doesn't pay off when painting your nails. I seriously painted/removed/repainted a nail 4 times!! (And it still looks like crap!)

Being dependable at work doesn't pay off when you miss a New Kids on the Block concert happening 3 hours from your home. New Kids will be in Memphis tomorrow evening, but I won't be there since I can't take off work and leave my lame ass team to fend for themselves. This particular trait, in fact, never pays off. You end up doing all the work, receiving none of the recognition, and not nearly enough money to make it worthwhile!

Being nice doesn't pay off when friends you have recently made ask you to help them move. Like I haven't moved enough for everyone. (Since I am not empathetic, however, I flat out told her no!)

Being a clean freak doesn't pay off when it's summer and you have teenagers at home. The house is never ready for company (not like I have that much) and I think I cleaned the kitchen 10 times one day last weekend!

Being a hypochondriac doesn't pay off at all. Last week I had hypoglycemia and a stroke.

What does pay off, you ask? Procrastination. If you wait long enough to tackle something, it just might take care of itself. Case in point: picking up the newspaper [I don't subscribe to] and wheeling the trashcan back after trash day. Some neighbor of mine is secretly wishing I'd move just one more time! (Note - this is the first time this has happened, and contrary to the tone of my blog, I was mortified, so guarantee it won't happen again. I'm praying they just thought I was out of town!)

What's the only thing that could make my blog better?

New kids on the Block videos!!!!

Beat that, mom! (And no, the feeding fish do not!)

Typical Conversation on a Sunday Afternoon

Morgan: Mom, are you in metapause?

Me: Morgan, I'm not 50!

Morgan: Don't you want to be in metapause - I mean if I knew I didn't want anymore children I would just want to get it over with.

Me: Uh, no I don't want to be in menopause - hot flashes, moodiness...

Morgan: How long does it last?

Me: I don't know - a couple of years I guess. But menopause is different for everyone.

Morgan: Why do you keep saying men-o-pause?

Me: Because that's what it is - menopause.

Morgan: I thought it was met-a-pause.

Me: No, it's menopause.

Morgan: I can't wait to tell Jordan. She is always right and knows so much about this kind of stuff. Menopause...

Me: I'm sure she knew it was menopause.

Morgan: No she thinks its metapause. Mom, that was my favorite conversation.

Me: I am so gonna have to blog this.

Addison(Morgan's friend): What's blog?

Morgan: It's this thing old people do to "keep in touch with family and friends." You know, because they're too lame to Facebook.

Don't be jealous that your Sunday conversations aren't as riveting and self-affirming.

Frustrations - Resolved!

Well, at least some!

1. Taxes: Completed on time - and I only spent 30 minutes at the post office to mail them [on tax day]!
2. Adobe Elements (photo editing software I cannot even begin to understand): Updated to the latest version, signed up for an online course, got the "Photoshop Elements 6 for Dummies" book. I have already learned more in 4 hours this weekend then I learned in 12 last! I love education!!
3. Squirrels in my attic: Critter Control has set traps... handyman is lined up to repair the soffit when the squirrels are all gone.
4. Leak in the bathroom: Sealed and holding...
5. Hole in my ceiling (due to detecting above mentioned leak): Will have the plumber out in a week or so to "rough" fix it... handyman is lined up to make it pretty.
6. Idiot coworkers: Still a huge pain in my butt!
7. Teenagers: No resolution expected for another 7 years! (But it could be worse - they could be boys!)

Five out of seven ain't bad!

Steph's Serious Frustrations:

1. Taxes
2. Adobe Elements (photo editing software I cannot even begin to understand)
3. Squirrels in my attic
4. Leak in the bathroom
5. Hole in my ceiling (due to detecting above mentioned leak)
6. Idiot coworkers
7. Teenagers

Isn't running a household fun?!