How to Pick Up Guys in a Depressed Economy

So I'm at the grocery store checking out. Background: I hate grocery shopping. I will live off butter noodles and cream of mushroom soup for weeks before breaking down and going to the store. I try to limit my visits to Kroger to about 1 a month. So when I go - it's a doozy. Back to the story...

So I'm at the grocery store checking out. Everyone knows I am on the "Dave" plan [Dave Ramsey Total Money Makeover]. My dad is nice enough to save the coupons from the paper for me. I am fanatical about my coupons. So, as I'm checking out, I have quite a few to redeem. And it's taking the guy a really long time to scan them all in. I turn apologetically to the [cute, single - with groceries I approve of] guy behind me and say, "I know it's a pain, but it saves me a lot of money." He replies, "No problem!" It takes the check out guy a couple more minutes, as he meticulously separates the manufacturer coupons from the Kroger coupons, then he's done. He says, "Here's more coupons, and you're really long receipt..." to which the guy behind me asks, "How much did you save?" I told him I had saved about 30 dollars. End of story, right?

Apparently not. So now I'm loading the groceries into my car, and here comes the guy - who stops and says, "The coupons really weren't bothering me." "Good" I say. And he goes, "But I bet that check-out guy was annoyed! He'll just have to get over it - I mean that was a lot of money to save and it must have been a lot of work for you to get that all together." Ok - clearly, he was impressed with my coupon-cutting skills. [Or maybe it was my zebra print bra you could faintly see through my t-shirt (that I didn't know until I got home and the girls pointed out).] Then he was kind of hanging around...waiting. It would have been as easy as saying, "Wanna come see my coupon collection?" and he'd have been hooked! Guess it's a turn-on that a woman is into saving money in this state of economy! Then again - maybe that's a turn-on to a guy in any economic period!!

*For the record, I did not invite the guy to check out my coupons! :o)

Toes Woes

There's not much I like better in the way of pampering than a good spa pedicure. Last week while we were in St. Louis, my mom treated us girls to mani/pedis. Yeah! As we were walking to the car afterwards, I looked down and noticed that both my papa toes were incredibly smeared. What?! How the heck did that happen? I was certain I hadn't touched them on anything. I had planned on wearing open-toed shoes to the wedding, so I had to go back in and get the guy to fix them. Sandy and mom waited patiently in the car (after they got over their laughing fit at me). The guy finishes, and I walk back out to the car only to realize that I had done it again! Both papa toes - ruined!!

I'm cussing as I get in the car as I realize the problem - my shoes! They were sandals, but the top part was rubbing my toes (unbeknownst to me) as I walked. Sandy was like, "Just go back and ask him to fix them one last time." Yeah right! I was already the idiot, I wasn't going back in there so they could make fun of me in Vietnamese while I sat there oblivious! Mom was like, "Just lick your finger and see if you can smooth it out. It's not that bad." YES IT IS! Not only are the toes smeared, but there is nail polish all over my toes!

So, we drive to the local cosmetic store where I purchase nail polish remover, Ruby Slippers nail polish (a color I'm not even that crazy about), and top coat. When we returned to the hotel, I was able to repair the damage. But talk about a non-pampering experience - I was really stressed out!

Here's the damage:
1 Pedicure - 30.00 (Thanks, mom!)
1 Tip to Repair Pedicure - 5.00
1 Nail Polish Remover - 2.00
1 Top Coat - 4.00
1 Ruby Slippers Nail Polish - 7.50

Total: 48.50 - the most expensive pedicure I ever had!

On the bright side, Mindy pointed out that while I may not be in love with the color, at least dark red sparkle polish was practical. Think of all the times it can be worn: Valentine's Day, Fourth of July, and Christmas! Thanks, Mind!

**On a side note, the bulb replacement to my tv went off without a hitch. I borrowed the proper tools from dad, and didn't even have to use the latex glove!

Life without TV

So last night I was taking Merrill out to dinner for her birthday when Jordan starts blowing up my phone with calls and texts. I tried to ignore her, as we were in a really nice Italian restaurant (Giovanni's for you Nashville folks), and I hadn't been gone all that long - certainly not long enough for an emergency to already have erupted - but since I had only set my phone on vibrate, and was carrying a small clutch, it was kind of hard.

"What's the emergency?" I text her. Yes - at the table. (We had already told the server we had cocktails and appetizers at another location, so were only here for the main course. That didn't go over too well. The Giovanni had already stopped by and introduced himself. I told him his restaurant had a lot to live up to - my tira missou experience in Carmine's in NY (another blog another time), and even though he said he had "nothing to worry about" I'm not sure he cared much for that. So I was sort of nervous we would be asked to leave, but...)

The emergency? The tv bulb finally blew. I knew if was going out - when my parents gave me the TV it was already pretty dim, and the coloring was weird, so I knew it was just a matter of time. But it's sort of scary when it happens - it makes a loud pop and everything goes black. So it really freaked Jordan out. She knew what had happened, so I was not sure why she was calling me. Like I could run home and quickly replace the bulb or something. Got a spare? Yeah, right in my purse... DUH!

So today I was shopping for a new bulb. I did get a better deal than I thought I would, but it still cost me about $130.00 with shipping/tax. I believe my dad said the tv wasn't really worth replacing the bulb again, but it's so huge, and now I'm spoiled with it, and since I can't afford a new one, I figured it wasn't too bad. Anyways, the bulb will ship in 3-7 days. Good thing we'll be in St. Lous this week, because life without tv is eerie!

Here's life without TV in our house:
- Jordan never shuts up. She thinks her stories are awesome, but they are only slightly better than mine!

- Morgan considers anyone looking at her or talking to her a stalker - as in, "Mom, why do you keep stalking me?" I got to hear this more often than usual today since I was trying to fill the silence.

- Now I know why I like to nap with the tv on. Normal naptime for Steph - 30 to 45 minutes. Today's nap? 1 1/2 hours!!!! Wasted the whole darn afternoon!

- The chairs in the rec room (where Jordan and I finally reverted to watch tv) aren't all that comfortable. And the tv is really small. And there is no surround sound.

- I'm really sick of "screamo" music. Yes, it is a new genre. Yes, it is just like it sounds - screaming!

The thing I've realized the most today is that I never would have called us a tv family. We don't just sit around all day watching tv. But the tv is always on. It is a normal part of our "family noise." And it's really kind of creepy without it!

Next blog: Steph replacing the bulb. The company I ordered it from had a 5 minute YouTube how-to video on it. Included in supplies needed were latex gloves. Need I say more??